


Puppy Plane?

by landerson



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 02:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18681904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/landerson/pseuds/landerson
Summary: A plane full of puppies? Yes, yes, yes





	Puppy Plane?

The family re-arranged in the Starblaster, Taako reaching for his lucious surfer locks only to find his standard elven styling. He felt like Keanu Reeves at the end of Point Break, throwing his FBI badge into the water if the movie had a Groundhog Day situation where he suddenly woke up to hear about the robbers with presidents’ faces. You know. Like Point Break.

As he worked through these complex emotions, the Starblaster crew took their positions. New configurations took hold, Lup and Barry sitting next to each other to survey the new planet.

After a calm and relaxing year, it was distressing to consider that the next planet could be inhabited with a populace at risk. As they passed over the surface, they saw the necessities of life: cycles, sustenance and age. Davenport slowed the craft and brought them to a landing. The crew stepped out, Magnus rushing in to scope out the scene. What he found was nothing of note, flora surrounding them, deciduous trees all in full bloom, some carrying fruits.

Barry Bluejeans adjusted his glasses and said, “This planet has seasons. Which means our axis tilt should tie into our schematics for tracking down the light.”

Merle picked up the botanist portion, “Fruit-bearing plants means cross-pollination. That might mean bees.”

Taako snapped his finger. “Which means honey.”

“Which means sweets,” Lup groaned. “I love you, Taako, but a year of seafood has made me question some life decisions. I don’t need interdimensional scurvy on top of our Hunger problems.”

“So it’s settled.” Taako turned to face the group. “We find a bee colony, and we make some delicious fruit tartes.”

Lucrecia and Davenport shared a paternalistic glance of amusement. Lucrecia said, “Just keep a look out for The Light. Do what you will otherwise.”

“On it.” Taako nodded, “Anyone who wants a tasty tasty dessert come with me. Everyone else, make sure we don’t miss the light.” 

Lucrecia singingly listed off her duties, “And set up our tent and run schematics and make sure there’s enough clean water and check on the ship and write our log and keep the captain safe and--”

As her list continued, Magnus, Taako, Merle and Lup dived into the forest. Merle held up a finger and wetted it with spit, holding it in the air.

Lup asked, “Which way is the wind moving? Wait, how does that help?”

Merle shushed her over and over before turning toward a thick tree trunk. “Hey baby, how’s your sap?”

“My what!?” Lup raged.

Magnus put a hand on her shoulder, “I think he’s talking to the tree.”

“Right, right.” She picked up his hand. “I should have intuited that.” As she flung his protective mitt away, she left a trail of sparks.

Merle continued to talk dirty to the tree as the line of sparks drew Taako’s attention upward, and he saw a hive. “Up there,” he pointed and conjured Mage Hand to bring the hive downward, inspecting the colony.

Magnus cautiously rebutted, “Shouldn’t we be careful?”

Taako flipped around the hive and said, “A beekeeper’s secret is to keep enough honey for the larvae to feed. It’s a complicated process. The biologist could explain.”

Meanwhile, Merle continued to serenade the thickest tree in the forest with unstoppable force.

Taako sliced a small amount of the nest away to uncover some workers inside.

“Hail and well met,” Magnus assured the anthophilous. “We come for your delicious nectar,”

And they responded to his positive, folksy charm, swarming around him in an almost playful manner.

When they got close enough to his face, Magnus saw them for what they were, “Puppies!?”

They swarmed him closer and nearly tackled him.

“A world of puppies!”

 

Every animal species on the planet was a puppy. The marine life? Puppies. The avians? Puppies. The mammals!? Puppies!

Barry Bluejeans took this new information and took out a fantasy whiteboard to try and map out how this evolutionary track happened. And it worked, and quite frankly, he found it more compatible with sustaining life than their own planet with species that weren’t puppies.

Excitement traveled quickly about the newcomers who came from the sky to their new world. And the day after the Light was seen, their travels were halted when a group of social, bipedal puppies communicated that they were interested in one of their party members, the big one. Magnus sacrificed himself to go with the puppies as his party members would go and search for the light. It took some doing, but within the month, they were successful. They returned back to where Magnus had been taken.

He taught them the language of the puppies, how to read their body language and how to make them understand simple commands.

Lup was among the first to make herself equal among the puppies, taking in a newborn runt to help shoulder some of the load of the community to make themselves non-threatening. He grew to appreciate her taking him around the city, and other puppies joined in, all learning the word walk. It made Lup a nurturing and beloved figure. And seeing Lup interact with this world made Barry all the more enraptured.

In their last week, they were visited by a vision.

“Magnus,” the voice boomed. “You have served our kind well, and we trust your good acts will continue. As our time comes to an end, we wish to perform our ceremony of highest honor.”

He stared in awe at Puppy Pan.

“Wanna walk!?” Puppy Pan asked.

Puppy Pan and Magnus hiked into the forest. Magnus kept a respectful silence, keeping pace with this dog god.

“Magnus, every soul is born with a spark of joy and adventure. But for the most joyful, we have a time honored tradition. To name them as ‘Good Boy.’ Magnus, you are a good boy.”

The fighter who had already sacrificed so much burst into tears before the puppy and said, “Thank you.”

“On your feet, sir. Today, you ascend.”

The group saw the Hunger coming, and Lup said her last goodbye to her sweet puppy, knowing he had a good place to stay.

Lup and Magnus shared a sigh. “Awesome,” Lup murmured.

“Puppies,” Magnus grinned.

“Fruit tart?” Taako offered the last of the sweet treat.

“That was tight,” Lucrecia confirmed as the Starblaster reorganized.


End file.
